Fortunate I know I am a big guy, always have been. It is really all I have ever known. I was the kid that had to wear the "husky" sized pants. I was the kid who broke the chair in 3rd grade. I was the one told, "don't worry, he will grow into his weight". I was the guy who had to SQUEEZE into the desks in high school. I was the guy picked on by everyone at school, even the uncool kids. And I was definitely the last one picked for any kind of team.

Being fat is a HUGE part of my life and a huge part of the way I see the world. Because of this I have always thought that my life has been somehow been only lived partially. This could be true, but the people I met at that weight loss session about the surgery made me realize how fortunate I am. Yeah I am really over weight, and maybe someday I will get the nerve to actually put the stats up here but not today, but I am so much better off than so many people that are big.

But the people attending that session were people who could hardly walk, who got winded walking across a parking lot, and cringed at the thought of stairs. I wasn't the biggest person there, nor the smallest and there were people older and younger than me too, but from all the stories that were told I am fortunate that I don't really have all those problems. I never thought I would say that, but I could be a lot worse off. I am surprisingly mobile for a guy my size, I live in a 3rd floor apartment and I would choose it again. I don't get winded by walking. I say all this cause I don't want people to think this is some kind of pity party and some kind of act for attention. Do I want to lose weight? Yes. Do I want to be healthier? YES! But I see myself differently now, I think that I could walk away from this a totally different person. Sure it will take time and effort but I see real potential for change.

Thanks to all the people who have been so supportive thus far with offers to attend Weight Watchers meetings with me. If someone wants to go out and take a walk with me some weekend give me a call. It might not be pretty and I can't guarantee there won't be heavy breathing, but I have to push in order to see improvement.  ¶ 5:31 PM